Here's a re-post of one of my older fun blogs from FB. Enjoy!
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I had a hilarious afternoon the other day when my mum-in-law was talking to Lily, my domestic help.
Lily hails from Philippines. So anyway Samantha was not feeling well and had a light case of HFMD, and was being monitored by Lily on her temperature.
So Lily said to MIL,"Gramma, Samantha still have a bit of peber."
MIL was perplexed. "What?"
Lily repeated,"Samantha still have some peber."
MIL,"I don't understand, what's that?"
Lily got a bit annoyed. "Peber, gramma. PEBER."
MIL:"What'a a PEBER?!?!"
Lily said, "Peber lah!"
Seeing that this could go on all day, I decided to stop watching the silly exchange and end their misery by explaining to my MIL that most Filipinas pronounce their Ps as Fs and V as Bs, just like how some Indians switch their Vs and Ws, and Japs have this thing with Rs and Ls.
So, what Lily was really trying to say was Samantha still has a bit of FEVER.
Maybe it's because Philippines is pronounced as Fee-Lee-pins, so the PH / F thing starts from there. I dunno. Or it could be some Tagalog language phonetics thingie.
So, I noticed Samantha is picking up some of these mispronunciations, I I try hard to correct her. Actually the real challenge is to correct Lily because Samantha hangs out with her the whole day, so she will pick up from what ever Lily says.
Here are some creeping problems emerging:
Actual: Hi-Five Philipenglish: Hi-Pibe.
Actual: Fish Philipenglish: Pish (Although Ben and Jerry's do have a flavor called Phish Food - that's not helping. Damn)
Actual: Finish Philipenglish: Pinish.
So here is a quick list to help you decipher what your Philippines native is trying to say in normal conversation:
Example:
I hab Pibe priends coming on Priday.
I have five friends coming on Friday.
We will meet on the pip ploor.
We will meet on the fifth floor.
I plugged a tucksi and went to Lucky Flahza.
I flagged a taxi and went to Lucky PLaza.
I bought Pibe kilos of presh pruits por Pipty-Pibe dollars and pipty-pibe cents. Puck!
I bought five kilos of fresh fruits for $55.55. Damn!
I pinished the housework in the ebening, so I turned on the telebision and watched a bit of peer pucktor.
I finished the housework in the evening, so I turned on the television and watch a bit of Fear Factor.
My paborite band is Pibe Por Piting.
My favourite band is Five for Fighting.
I like to wear Buggikorlorpunts.
I like to wear baggy colored pants.
Pelix, can you flease fass the prench pries?
Felix, can you please pass the french fries?
What the puck?
What the hell?
You better wash your hand abter you come back from flayground, if not you get hand poot moub disease.
Yo better wash your hands after coming back from the playground, or else you can get hand foot mouth disease.
